ROCKET REVIEW: KISS – “Monster” (CD)

American glam rockers KISS return in 2012 with their latest collection of tunes that this reviewer feels completely fails at the songwriting level. There are no instant classic cuts here nor explosive musical moments to speak of. Guitarist/lead vocalist Paul Stanley produced Monster with Greg Collins (Who the f@#! is Greg Collins?), and much like 2009’s Sonic Boom there is certainly a pulse left but just not enough focus on creating solid tunes that can stand up to the band’s past epic glory. You will not find anything near the level of a “Cold Gin or “Deuce” on this album. Matter of fact, there’s not even one huge memorable anthem like “God Gave Rock N Roll To You” or the all-time epic “Rock n Roll All Nite”. ‘Half of KISS’, as I like to refer to them, since they are minus original members Ace Frehley and Peter Criss today, need to stop lying to fans about how great this turkey is. But instead you’ve got bassist Gene Simmons going around saying it’s one of the ‘top three’ best studio albums ever done by the group. Really Demon? And what do you think about Benghazi and that cover up? Save your breath!

I think KISS in 2012 sounds more like an amateur rock act comprised of 60 year old Jewish ladies competing on America’s Got Talent. There is nothing fantastic about an album that sounds like it’s just been thrown together by some elitist rock stars who at this time in their career choose to stick around long after their welcome. Truth be told, what you get instead of classic sounding KISS is Tommy Thayer’s over produced guitar sound trying everything to mimic the long gone Ace’s frenetic six-string genius. Let’s face it, Thayer can never fill those shoes but it would be nice if he actually added something that was his own.

Stanley’s vocals are simply tired and chalk-board-scratching on one dullard track after the next that try their best to get things going but fall flat right out the gate and make you want to let out a monster yawn. “Hell or Hallelujah” is laughable at best and every time Gene Simmons adds his vocals in he bellows like a wounded water buffalo was trying to sing into the microphone. Hey, dude? Ever heard of voice lessons? You need them!

In the end, I am not going to spend all day trashing this POS when I can be doing better things with my time like listening to KISS’ truly legendary Destroyer album from 1976. Those were the days… no doubt.

TMD
TMD

ROCKET REVIEW:
[starreview tpl=16]
KISS – “Monster” (CD)
(Universal Music Group/2012)

1. Hell or Hallelujah
2. Wall of Sound
3. Freak
4. Back to the Stone Age
5. Shout Mercy
6. Long Way Down
7. Eat Your Heart Out
8. The Devil Is Me
9. Outta This World
10. All for the Love of Rock & Roll
11. Take Me Down Below
12. Last Chance

http://www.kissonline.com/