November 26, 2024

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Hospital Ran Out of Anesthesia Trying to Put Ozzy Under

Ozzy Osbourne has such a high tolerance for drugs that doctors were unable to put him to sleep during his recent surgery. 

Doctor Craig Lueschow, the anesthesiologist assigned to Ozzy told Madhouse News, “I administered to Mr. Osbourne ten times the dose of a normal patient. He sat there grinning at me. It had absolutely no effect on him at all. I ran out of IV’s, I have been an anesthesiologist for 35 years and I have never seen anything like it.”

Unfazed

The doctors gave Ozzy multiple shots, and then attempted to use general anesthesia. “We gave him three canisters of general” said Dr. Lueschow, “Enough to knock out a horse and he was unfazed. Incredibly, Ozzy was still chatting away with the nurses.”

Eventually the hospital ran out of anesthesia completely and had to call in a vet. Apparently the vet gave Ozzy some elephant tranquilizer and he did get a wee bit drowsy. Vet tech Kim Burritt commented, “After we gave him enough tranquilizer to knock out a full grown male elephant, I did see Ozzy yawn. He told me to hurry it up because he would like to watch Judge Judy at 4PM.” 

Batter Up

Finally enough was enough and doctors hit Ozzy with a baseball bat. That put him out long enough for the team to complete the surgery. The surgery was a success and Ozzy was released. Osbourne cake walked out of the hospital and is now home recuperating. “Me head is killing me” said Ozzy. “I thought I had surgery on my neck, why does my head hurt? I have a giant bump too.”

Ozzy’s druggy days are long behind him but apparently over the years he has built up quite the tolerance. In his hey day, the Black Sabbath wildman was known to drink, smoke or snort anything that wasn’t nailed down. This included ants, bats, bleach and even formaldehyde. 

Home – Ozzy Osbourne Official Site

Source: Madhouse Magazine