June 22, 2024

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Mötley Crüe – Hire Michael Starr To Replace Vince Neil

IS THIS A HOAX: What in the actual fuck?! (11/21=32) 32 inverted is 23 Enigma

No, you are not living in the Twilight Zone. Due to the ongoing dispute between Vince Neil and his band, Mötley Crüe, the boys, namely Nikki Sixx, Mick Mars and Tommy Lee are reportedly now being forced due to contractual obligation to fulfill a lengthy tour schedule of comeback dates in 2020 without their original singer, Vince Neil. Why is this happening you ask and who in the hell is going to replace him?

Get ready for this one. It’s none other than the vocalist of STEEL PANTHER.

Wait… WHO?

Michael Starr(dead silence)

still not ringing a bell?

That’s okay. Michael’s own family members won’t even admit they know him. This guy is so unknown that his groupies think he is actually:

David Lee Roth.

“Did someone order a shot of whisky?”

As the story goes, Vince blew up to the size of a house and now he is having troubles moving around for significant periods of time due to extreme pain in his knees and ankles. His obesity has led to him secretly flying out to a “Fat Farm” facility located in the UK to seek help.

The source who has leaked the news to TMD was allowed to follow the staff around as they checked Mr. Neil in this past week, and now things have escalated so much that the concert organizer behind the comeback tour doesn’t want to risk Vince dying while in front of his fans.

They need a replacement until Vince can get back on the stage with Crue the proper way: HEALTHY AND NOT AS BIG AS MAMA CASS.

The source goes on to state: “Vince said he gives his blessings not only to Michael Starr to takeover the frontman duties for the greatest glam metal band ever but the troubled Crue vocalist also sends best wishes to all the other totally unknown members of STEEL PANTHER (whoever those guys are) and is said to already be shedding weight in just the first 2 days of his new health diet and workout regiment, which includes a bag of cheeseburgers suspended right above his head, so he can’t actually eat any, while he runs on a treadmill. It helps motivate him.”