With the worldwide spread of the pandemic known today as coronavirus fast upon us, terrifying citizens all over the global map, one man in particular looks to be suffering from an extremely rare form of the sickness doctor’s call “Alcoholic’s Coronavirus.”
MÖTLEY CRÜE lead vocalist, Vince Neil, has been battling critics about his morbid obesity and “incoherent rambling” speech seen via a January/2020 fan shoutout appearance, applying massive pressure to his band during the final months leading up to the legendary glam metal act’s highly anticipated comeback tour slated to kick off this June.
Coronaviruses are common throughout the world. They can infect people and animals. Five different coronaviruses can infect people and make them sick. They can cause mild to moderate upper-respiratory illness, lethargy and in extreme cases, death. Well, we can now add a sixth form of the virus to the list… and everyone’s favorite fat guy rocker is to thank for making this possible.
A band source has revealed to TMD today that Vince Neil did not suffer from a mini-stroke as was being initially reported by news outlets last month, but instead is now the world’s first person this year to become a carrier of the most debilitating disease of them all, by way of drinking his giant ass into daily drunken stupors, therefore catching what experts have labeled an acute onset of “Alcoholic’s Coronavirus.”
“Basically, the source confessed, Vince can’t put the Corona’s down and has been drinking in upwards of 2 cases daily of the Mexico based beer product.”
As the story goes, Corona’s parent company reports that its beer sales in the U.S. are up this year, contrary to viral Facebook posts that falsely claim its U.S. sales have dropped because of the new coronavirus pandemic.
Corona. Extra is a pale lager that is produced by Cervecería Modelo in Mexico for domestic distribution and export to all other countries besides the United States, and by Constellation Brands in Mexico for export to the United States.
No word yet if Vince’s doctor will be able to successfully treat the Crue vocalist, because everyone knows that nobody messes with a man’s favorite beer.
The Corona brand is currently one of the top-selling beers worldwide.
“It’s going to take a lot more than telling Vince he has some rare drinking disease to get him to put down the Corona’s, the band source admitted. “Hell, we had a hard enough time trying to keep him away from hookers carrying the clap.”