If you listen closely, you can hear the faint wailing cries – far off in the distance – eminating from the Osbourne family mansion in Beverly Hills. Yes… it’s true, Ozzy, your little Princess of Darkness has lost the biggest competition in her life thus far… to the King of all Mormons: Donny Osmond.
“AAAARGGHHHH… Donny F%#king Osmond!?”
“I-I-I don’t (sniffle) know what I am going to do…
someone just may have to die for this.”
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