VINCE NEIL – Injured At “Fat Farm”, Falls While Escaping

Shocking news to report. Troubled MOTLEY CRUE lead vocalist, Vince Neil, reportedly injured himself during his secret stay at a “Fat Farm” facility in the United Kingdom yesterday. It’s said that Vince actually attempted to escape from the facility by jumping out of his room onto a lower roof section, somehow miraculously managing to make it over a series of red hot ‘electrified’ barbed wire fences. The obese singer almost made it out safely until he jumped off the roof and landed on a parked car down below.

A spokesperson for Benmor Medical facility comments:

“Yesterday at around the Noon hour a loud crash was heard by everyone and we thought it was a bomb that went off, so everyone started to evacuate the building. When we all got outside we found Vince Neil knocked out cold laying on top of a parked car’s dented roof. After using some smelling salts and a large pizza, Mr. Neil finally awakened and then he was escorted back to his room. He has been put under mild sedation until we can figure out what the hell is wrong with him.”

Recent reports claim that Vince is on a downward spiral since learning from his own band that he is going to be replaced for the Crue’s 2020 comeback tour by STEEL PANTHER singer Michael Starr.

“Oh Vince threw a major tantrum when he heard the news, don’t be fooled. He must have broke around 12 glass cups, you know, ash trays, just throwing anything he could get his hands on, breaking shit against his hotel room walls, pissing all over his bed and shouting, “I am the real lead singer of Motley Crue, you fuckers!”