Hollywood comedy glam metal band STEEL PANTHER have fired drummer Darren Leader aka “Stix Zadinia” and have officially announced part-time drummer for THE BEACH BOYS and FULL HOUSE Television legend, John “Born To Get Dirty” Stamos, as their new permanent drummer.
Vocalist Michael Starr comments:
“Stix was a bad ass and totally rocked with his cock out! However, what we all witnessed him do the other night with a foot long sausage will not ever be tolerated. So as of now, until this new cat does something really disgusting, like I mean shit worse than anything Ron Jeremy would do… than ole John boy is our fucking man! Nobody can be more gross than me anyway, that’s the first rule of this band!”
John Stamos was reached by phone and had this to say about joining the lineup:
“I am going to have to find spandex pants that fit me to begin with. I want everyone to know that I still play surprise gigs with THE BEACH BOYS but this is my main gig from now on, until something bigger comes along, like a Burger King commercial.”
Stix Zadinia sent a text in to TMD and said: “Fuck all those dicks. I have accepted a new gig with Pizza Hut. I’m a shift manager now, making the big bucks and I’m front and center with all the horny fat chicks! I am going to get more poontang boomerang than I ever did playing with those douche nozzles!”
https://www.facebook.com/steelpantherkicksass/
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